Happy Anniversary

The past couple of days I’ve been exhausted…sleeping for hours on end, even napping throughout the day, void of energy to get up and accomplish anything…something I haven’t had to face in a while. I couldn’t figure out why I was struggling so much when just last week I was motivated and ready to take on the world. The body has an interesting way of letting us know when we’re in need of a timeout, even when we haven’t quite caught up to that hidden message buried deep within our subconscious. It lets us know that there’s a day creeping up on the calendar that holds a special significance to our lives, and it reminds us that we may just need to take a little extra care of ourselves for the time being. For me, that date is today, February 2nd.

It’s been one year. 12 months. 52 weeks. 365 days. 8,766 hours. 525,600 minutes. 31,536,000 seconds. One year since I answered the phone and heard the doctor mutter those heart-wrenching words. One year since I contacted my family and broke the news. One year since the world around me came to a screeching halt.

One year ago, I was sharing a less-than-appealing plate of chinese food with my sister as we discussed the shocking turn of events. The day we wandered around the mall in Orange making horrible jokes about what I would sound like with part of my tongue missing, when I told one punchline too many and decided that I’d had enough. The day when time stood still, and the things that seemed so important became quite minor when compared to fighting for my life.

Today marks the most significant anniversary of my life, to date. And in the next several months, I will welcome, grieve and celebrate many more very specific dates. March 3, 2010…the day I survived an 8 hour surgery to remove the tumor. April 12, 2010…the day I met “Joey”, my infamous life support, my feeding tube. April 13, 2010…the day I received my first “Zap”. May 25, 2010…the day I knew I had survived 30 Radiation Treatments. And finally, December 21, 2010…the day my feeding tube was no longer needed.

While there are a myriad of emotions running through me, and there is a great sense of sadness that threatens to overtake me, there is an even stronger presence of hope and gratitude. I am so very thankful that despite how tough it can be to look back on these dates and to remember the battles fought, the bottom line is I’M STILL HERE…in order TO look back! And Lord willing, I’ll be here many years from now to wish myself yet another Happy Anniversary!

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