The Call

It’s been too long.  I forget how much I love to write.  Life has provided me with new material and all I want to do right this minute is get out all my thoughts onto paper.

I received “the call” yesterday…February 2, 2010.  “I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but your biopsy came back and yes, it is CANCER!”  For the past week I’ve felt eerily panicked as I waited for the results and I knew in my heart that this time it wouldn’t be okay. 

I am 30 years old and I have cancer.  Tongue cancer at that.  What the hell is tongue cancer?  Has anyone ever even heard of tongue cancer?  Unfortunately, I’ve heard of it once before.  And now that person has become a great support as she verbally walked me through what I might be on the verge of experiencing.

All I know right now is I have this thing on my tongue.  I can feel it.  I know it’s there.  It haunts me with its presence.  It shouts out more questions than I have the answers for and it reminds me, yet again, how precious life truly is…

My whole family has been incredible.  My support system is amping up to do whatever necessary and yesterday, my big sis came to my rescue.  She dropped everything she was doing and took me out to deal with the news.  We ventured through Anaheim to this mediocre Chinese restaurant and then on to the mall.  Amidst horribly insensitive tongue jokes, we laughed our way into oblivion until a new reality hit and all I could say was, “This isn’t funny anymore.  I don’t feel like joking.”  Since then, I’ve received dozens of calls and texts from well wishers all over the country and my heart is full!  Despite the unknown of what is about to hit, the one message I keep telling myself is this…there is absolutely NO WAY that after everything that has gone on in my life, that cancer is the thing that’s going to take me out!  I refuse!  So that’s the way I feel today and I’m sure tomorrow is going to bring with it new thoughts, feelings, a few thousand more questions, but for today, that’s how I feel.

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20 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Heidi
    Feb 03, 2010 @ 16:34:43

    Praying…

    Reply

  2. Dottie Henry
    Feb 03, 2010 @ 16:41:54

    You are in our prayers!

    Reply

  3. Jenn
    Feb 03, 2010 @ 16:42:40

    I love you Kel and I’m praying for you! If you ever need to talk please don’t hesitate. I KNOW your strength and believe you 110% when you say you won’t let this take you down. You’re a strong woman. Remember all you have faced and overcame. You truly are a gift from God to so many. xoxo

    Reply

  4. Renee Garcia
    Feb 03, 2010 @ 16:58:03

    Oh Kelli… I’m so sorry. I just read LL’s blog which took me to your facebook which brought me here. I wish I could be with you right now. I’ll never forget when we got the call about Kennedy. I HATE cancer. We are in shock right now. If there is anything we can do, please let us know… you know we’ll be praying and following along… I can send a ton of prayer warriors your way too… but I don’t know if that’s what you want… so I won’t until you say so. We love you!
    Renee

    Reply

  5. Salsa Mom
    Feb 03, 2010 @ 17:00:05

    I don’t know what I can possibly say, but you are totally in my prayers…. I will be following your blog to stay current.

    Reply

  6. Alisa and Brian Roberts
    Feb 03, 2010 @ 17:01:48

    Oh Kelli we are praying to the lord right now. Just know that you are loved and that the lord will protect you through this scary trial. Let us know how things go. We are praying for you and for strength for you.

    Reply

  7. Jamiey Emmans
    Feb 03, 2010 @ 17:44:01

    Friend, I am sorry to hear this news!!!! Definitely not what someone wants to go through. You are such a strong girl though that I know you can beat this! We will definitely be praying for you and your physical ailments along with all the emotional that goes along with it. Please let us know if there is anything we can do for you. Even if you want to come for some sun in florida for a bit!!! Lots of love to you!

    Reply

  8. angielamberth
    Feb 03, 2010 @ 18:35:09

    Kelli. Praying for you right now. Love you. Angie

    Reply

  9. Sandra Gomez
    Feb 03, 2010 @ 19:03:43

    Hey Sprite 🙂
    I am praying for you. You are a fighter and a truly strong woman! Please let me know if there is anything you need – do not hesitate to call. We miss you and love you! I wish I was there to give you a hug and some support.
    Sandra

    Reply

  10. Jana Shulkin
    Feb 03, 2010 @ 19:45:51

    Kelli,

    I am so sorry you have to go through this!!! When I received your text, I couldn’t believe what I was reading. I was shocked by your news. I thought to myself, not Kelli, it can’t happen to Kelli, I love Kelli! I then thought, wow, but Kelli is one of the strongest women I know, she will definitely overcome this. No doubt about it! I really wish we lived closer and that I wasn’t moving to London next week. Even though we may not be nearby physically, we are connected spiritually. Although we have not known eachother for years, I feel like it’s been forever. Immediately I felt a connection, one constantly filled with laughter and honesty. I always feel comfortable with you, so comfortable that I can even share my most morbid, deep thoughts with you. Please let me know if you need anything. If you would like to take a vacation from all this, you are always more than welcome to come to London and decompress. You are in my thoughts and prayers and I am 100% confident you will come out of this even stronger, more confident and amazing then you already are today. I love you girl!

    Reply

  11. loswhit
    Feb 03, 2010 @ 22:06:22

    Girl, I have no words accept that we love you and will be praying for you. H

    Reply

  12. Jason Forgey
    Feb 03, 2010 @ 23:26:41

    Kelli, sorry you had to get that call. You’re a great writer and sound very aware of your situation and how your spirit may change from time to time. Keep your spirits up – I’ll be praying for you.

    Reply

  13. Suzanne Zimmer
    Feb 03, 2010 @ 23:52:34

    My dear friend, I love you!!! I am prayng for you and I know that you will beat the crap out of anything or one that gets in your way. You are blessed with a family that loves you and friends that love you just as much. You have given so much to so many over the years that now you need to focus on YOU. Let everyone around you take care of the other stuff. I won’t say I am sorry that you have cancer only becasue I did’t give it to you. I am sorry that I have let so much time pass without talking with you. You were there for my family when we needed you and for that I will never be able to thank you enough. I wish I was closer to be there for you (i’m sure that you will not be alone for a second with all of your family and friends). I am with you in prayer and love. Please know that I am here if you need anything. A place to hide when you feel you just need to get away from it all ….to a place where you can do, say whatever you want and never be judged….I’m here for you. I love you and will check back for updates.

    Reply

  14. mizzjanie
    Feb 04, 2010 @ 03:46:11

    we’ll be praying for you!! much love!!

    Reply

  15. Elizabeth
    Feb 04, 2010 @ 04:24:58

    Kelly (aka Leo’s girl),
    I love you. And I’m praying. And if there is anything I can do long distance, say the word… I’m your girl. And I’m pretty sure I can vacuum pack Karla and Hans into a box, if you need me to overnight them!
    E

    Reply

  16. Cindy mckemie-Lopez
    Feb 04, 2010 @ 04:51:16

    Kelly: Gina informed me of your “call” and I will add you to my morning prayers. Stay strong.

    Reply

  17. Rachel Bryant
    Feb 04, 2010 @ 05:36:00

    Kelly,
    I was sitting in my class last night thinking I wanted to call you and invite you over for dinner (now that you live so close). When I got home my mom had called with this news. I really couldn’t believe it. I am constantly thinking and praying for you. Anything you need please let us know. I was thinking we could even house people who come to visit, we aren’t that far. And if you ever feel like dinner at our place, we’d love to have you.
    Really, I want you to know that my hear is breaking before the Lord for you.
    Rachel

    Reply

  18. Shawn Davis
    Feb 04, 2010 @ 12:02:45

    I know you are going through a tuff time right now Giggles, but remember this, your Heavenly Father has you in his hand. He loves you and wants the best for you, no matter what it looks like. I am here for you, one step at a time.

    Shawn D

    Reply

  19. Hayley
    Feb 16, 2010 @ 10:37:22

    Thinking of you, Kelli.
    I was diagnosed with throat cancer in 2007 and I am now in remission, there were a few sites that I found really handy (one being the Oral Cancer Foundation website) and I know that there are some people who have/have had tongue cancer on there.
    Anyway, I will add you to my google reader so I can keep updated.
    Take care ox

    Reply

  20. Michelle
    Feb 21, 2010 @ 04:32:19

    Visiting from Renee’s blog to let you know I’m praying for you!

    Reply

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