No more cringing when asked how old I am…no more wishing there was one less flame-adorned candle on the cake…no more thoughts of, “Is that a wrinkle? A grey hair?” Never again will I dread the ticking of the clock or the turning of the decade! I had a birthday! A BIRTHDAY!!! ONE MORE YEAR! (and boy it felt good!) Sometimes we forget how precious the next step of our life can be until we’re faced with the possibility that there will be no more celebrations, no more “days after” when you step on the scale and wish you’d said no to that last piece of birthday cake…no more family get togethers with you in it, no more moments when you’re sharing your deepest hopes and greatest fears with those closest to you…But yesterday, and for this moment, there is no sadness of such days! I had a birthday!
In the midst of all the happiness and fun, there was an underlying sense of straight up gratitude that I was even here to experience it all. Last year for my birthday, my brother took me to radiation and then we went back home where I slept and then quietly enjoyed the chaotic sounds of my nephews playing and laughing and fighting and whining and just being kids! I ate one last birthday meal and one last amazing birthday dessert (I can still smell and taste that fantastic blueberry pie my sister-in-law is so famous for!)
This year, there was no sadness of what could be, no thoughts of fear for the future…there was merely joy! I received the best card from my sister this year! “I don’t know what we’ll be like when we’re little old ladies…” That was enough for me…I lost it right then and there…and her message finished the job! “Love the thought of us being old together and looking back at our LONG lives!”
I don’t know what the future holds, I don’t know much about anything, but I do know, how sweet to hear that special little tune, “Happy Birthday To You!” And thank you to all who have wished and prayed and hoped for more years to come!